Six years ago, a friend lost his life in a motorcycle accident. I had experienced the loss of a loved one before, but this one was different. His death came unexpectedly, and without the reconciliation I needed. We had just re-entered each other's lives - carefree and uncomplicated. I ended up texting something hurtful a few weeks later. I wanted to apologize, but I kept putting it off, using the excuse that it needed to be in person. My pride and embarrassment got in the way.
He was supposed to come home that weekend. I was supposed to apologize.
My last memory of us together was watching The Amazing Spider-Man. The ending caught him by surprise. I remember him sitting in disbelief asking me, "Did you know?? Why didn't you tell me she was going to die??"
My answer: It would have taken away from her death if you knew it was coming.
Would I have apologized sooner if I knew that would be my last face to face conversation with him?
Would knowing his death take away the lesson of not letting my pride get in the way of apologizing sooner?
